Okay Ladies, Let’s Get in (Habit) Formation: Reclaiming Your Time

We see you. You’re the "Strong Friend"—the one who carries the emotional labor for everyone else. You’re the manager of the home and the leader in the boardroom, yet lately, your own tank is on empty. When life feels chaotic, we often try to use "willpower" to fix it. But willpower is a finite muscle; it tires out. What you need isn't more strength; it’s a system.

For years, I told myself I was just a "late person." I thought it was genetic—passed down from my favorite Auntie, who would say she was "10 minutes away" while she was still in the shower. Running out the door, kids in tow, realizing I’d lost my keys again... it wasn't just a nuisance. It was the crushing weight of self-doubt. I didn't believe I could change my relationship with time. I realized I wasn't "born late"; I was just missing a Loop.

The Anatomy of the Loop: Decoding Your Power

To change your life, you have to decode the four steps your brain takes every time it acts. This is the way we can build our sense of freedom and confidence:

• The Cue (The Notice): The trigger. A piece of information that predicts a reward. (e.g., The clock hitting 5:00 PM).
• The Crave (The Want): The motivational force. You don't want the habit; you want the change in state it provides. (e.g., You crave the feeling of being "done" for the day).
• The Response (The Do): The actual behavior. (e.g., Opening a bottle of wine or checking email).
• The Reward (The Finish): The goal that tells your brain, "This worked. Do it again."

Identity & Self-Trust

Habits are a tool for building evidence that you can achieve great things of your own choosing. When you decide to place your keys on a hook and you actually do it, you aren't just tidying—you are healing the part of you that worries you aren't "enough." You are proving that you have power in your life.

Your Weekly Audit

If you feel out of control, start by observing your current loops. What are the patterns or routines that you have going on in your life? Your “Morning get ready for work” protocol? Your “Just got home from work” routine, or your "Gotta make dinner” process. Don't judge them; just decode them:

1. Identify the "Leak": Where do you feel most undesirable emotions—annoyed, anxious, angry with regularity? (e.g., morning school run, before leading meetings).
2. The Audit: What happened five minutes before that feeling? What thoughts were you thinking in that timeframe? We are identifying the Cue or trigger for the beginning of this habitual response.
3. The Truth: What do you really want? Peace? A moment of silence? The feeling of a sugar binge? This is what you Crave.
4. The Entry Point: What is the simplest, 2-minute version of the behavior you want? What action takes me at least one step closer to my outcome? This is the act of creating an intentional Response.

Check the Receipts: Did this shift in behavior take you closer to what you crave? If yes, the habit loop is closed. This is the Reward.

I encourage you to try this out this week. Just notice your thoughts and mood when you do something that removes the anxiety or anger. How does it feel to be without that negative sensation? I hope you find peace in this practice and get the chance to peel back another layer of knowing yourself.

Take Your Next Step: You aren't a project to be fixed; you are a person who deserves a system that supports your peace.

• Resource: Visit our Resources Page to download the Habit Stacking Audit. It uses research-backed "If-Then" triggers to help you find your power anchors.
• Partner: If you want an ally to help you navigate these shifts, reach out to us at Be True Counseling.

Coming Up Next: Next week, we string these loops together to beat "Decision Fatigue" with the architecture of Habit Stacking.

#BeTrueCounseling #HabitFormation #TheHabitLoop #StrongFriend #ReclaimYourTime #SelfTrust #LeadershipForWomen #Autonomy